For Mom

Mothers are notorious for putting their own needs last. We’ve all seen it – the vibrant woman with dozens of interests and loads of friends who turns into a stay at home doormat when she has kids. Suddenly, she no longer pursues her own interests and her friends are all other moms with whom her children play. Well, let me explain to you why this approach to life and motherhood is not only bad for you, it’s bad for your children too. Giving up your own life and neglecting your own needs can cause the following problems that affect your children and you.


• If you don’t take care of yourself, everybody suffers –
If you can’t bring yourself to make your needs a priority for yourself, then do it for your children. A tired, overworked and overstressed mom is no good for anyone. Making sure your own physical, emotional and social needs are met will make you happier, and in turn you’ll raise happier children

• If you don’t look after yourself, you’re teaching your children that your needs are not important. If you treat yourself badly, you can expect your children to do the same. They’ll never appreciate the fact that you have needs if you don’t show them. However, teaching your children that everyone – even Mom – has needs and deserves to have those needs met will you’re your children be more understanding of others, and more likely to want to do things for mom. It will also make your children more likely to be balanced parents when they have children.

• If you don’t look after yourself, you may find that you’ve lost some of your identity. Continuing to pursue your previous hobbies and interests and keep in touch with your “pre-children” friends helps you to keep your identity. Sure, you’re a mom now and that makes you different in many ways. But many parts of you are the same as before you had children. You should nurture and celebrate those parts of your identity just as much as your identity as a mom.

Taking good care of yourself physically and emotionally after you become a mother is a challenge. You’ll have to make time for yourself; it won’t come without work. Learn to schedule your favorite activities into your calendar, making arrangements for child care just as you would for a doctor’s appointment or other important engagement. Ask your spouse for help with the children when you need it. Don’t expect him to read your mind.

It’s not easy, but with some persistence you can be a great mom while still making time to do the things you enjoy. And, it’s certainly worth the effort in the long run.